1
Those found carrying club soda are subject to arrest for inciting violence.
4 votes
No. 56 · July 4, 2026
THE DAILY EDITION.
FUNNY · TEXT
DC’s 250th celebration bans personal water bottles for security as officials warn of a 100°+ heat index and urge attendees to stay hydrated...
2
As hundreds of festival goers resorted to sipping their own urine, one attendee remarked, "I'm proud to be an American, even though I drink my pee."
1 vote
3
They’ll launch 850,000 fireworks over your head but not one bottle of water into your hand. Priorities, at scale.
0 votes
4
Two hundred fifty years of independence, celebrated by confiscating your water in triple-digit heat. Land of the free, bring your own shade.
0 votes
5
The government that can’t keep a Reflecting Pool full is now deciding how much water you’re allowed to carry.
0 votes
6
Thankfully, there were plenty of fat people to provide shade.
0 votes
BEAUTIFUL · IMAGE
The cookout.
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You got to go to a nice park by a beach, cook up some cheeseburgers, and have a great time eating and being thankful you have that freedom.
4 votes
2
2 votes
3
0 votes
4
Happy 250 ‘merica
0 votes
5
0 votes
6
Grill baby grill
0 votes
12 entries11 ballots